new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Randomize