we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
