Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
