I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
