there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
