So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
