She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
