it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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