and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
