So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize