some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My vagina is very pro this idea
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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