Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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