My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
