apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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