I can't watch pbs sober anymore
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I have post one night stand depression
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