i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
