You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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