My first STD was from a foam party
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
