I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize