Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
