hotel room ftw
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
