I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
