so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize