I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
