Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
