Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
