nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
