i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
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I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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