some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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