Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i've created a new STD.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
