no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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