Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
