I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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