dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize
