new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
