yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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