He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
