how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
