I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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