I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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