just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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