I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
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you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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