i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
