I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
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i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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