I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
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I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
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I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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