This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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