i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
