I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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