Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
