Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
