tell your sister to shave her snatch
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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