I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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