somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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