It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
