he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
