i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
birth control should be required to get into college
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
