Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
We got so high we made milksteak
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
