Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize