Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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