Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
