And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
