i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
