I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize