you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
