sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
