i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
